Standing Up

So when writing or even saying your feelings and emotions, you're always going to have some people not understand what you're saying. Use their own perceptions and opinions. That's life. It's the choice you make when you decide to express yourself outside of your own journal.

I've had to realize that my words can impact others in maybe a negative way even if that was never my intention. I have chosen to try to live my life with Grace  ( hence the blog name) so I need to be more aware when expressing myself. Not necessarily so off the cuff as much as that is hard for me as I try to be as genuine and authentic as possible. Sometimes blunt might be a word to describe me which is true but again it's never to hurt anyone, be rude or unkind. It's just how I choose to be.


So I've had a few days of doubting myself. Of doubting him and I. I even had a situation happen today that made me feel that even more. I think it's good though...it's the universe's way of seeing how well you sit with yourself. How much you'll stand up for your own truth. What you and only you know. That I'm the only one who was in our relationship. I know what we talked about. Where we were and where we talked about it going. No one else.

Do I know where it really would have ended up as? No....we didn't get the chance. However I do know what our plans were. How we talked about the future and what would happen eventually. What we were working towards at the same time enjoying the hell out of the moment. And that those conversations were honest, raw and authentic.

I know our last conversation and how much it meant to both of us. One day I may share that. Right now, that's in my head and my personal journal. But it doesn't take away the truth of it.

I heard you in my thoughts this morning and no I haven't forgotten it. I won't. No matter who tries to make me doubt myself ( even my own dark moments sometimes). They don't know us. We did and do.

I feel sometimes that people think I won't move on from this. I will. I will fall in love again. However that won't change how I feel about you. That you can love someone new while still having a place in your heart for someone in your past. Love doesn't have to be inclusive. It just is. There's no limit to it.


xo
barney