Lovely......

Today is a Dan day.

Not because I'm overly sad. I'm not. It just felt like a day to wear one of his shirts. It kinda feels like a day I would wear one even if he were here, you know? And of course he'd laugh at me ( while secretly loving that I was) and smile at me with his shit-eating grin.

I don't think I've talked about his shit- eating grin. It was hilarious. And when we first started dating it never left his face. Even in the most inappropriate moments...lol yes I mean then too. I'd laugh but I'd have to say ok, you have to stop it...it's not helping. He'd laugh harder and say, I can't help it, I feel like a 15 yr old teenage boy again.

And we were like teenagers some times, most times. Huge crush right away. Smiles whenever each other's numbers would come up on our phone. We had more than one nickname for the other that we kept changing in our contact info. And they were never sweet cutesy nicknames. Wasn't our style. Lol.
At ball we'd share secret innuendoes and smiles .....we thought we were being sly but I doubt now that we were.

It was a cute old fashioned kind of love....truly. Something new for both of us because of the place we were finally in. Comfortable in our own skins. Healing from our separations. Absolute kindness and respect. The few times we argued, never were our voices raised, let alone any kind of yelling. And we  were always able to work out the issue right away (except for once but that's a different post). No grudges, no hard feelings. More so laughing after at the stupid-ness of the arguement. And of course the make up kiss and hug. It was cute because sometimes he'd feel the need to ask if he could hug me or hold my hand after an argument. It was sweet. He was sweet. We were sweet together. Like I said, old fashioned and in 2016, that is rare. What we had was rare though and we knew it. And neither of us was going to do anything to risk it....we made sure of that. With complete honesty. Trust. Communication. Respect. Affection - lots and lots of affection which wasn't hard for me....have you seen him? His face? How could I not want to smooch that and touch it and him. Jeez :)

The last picture he sent me ( which may be the last picture taken of him- I don't know) was Saturday night ( the night before it happened) and it's of course..........his shit eating grin.

I miss that shit eating grin and can't wait to see it again, donkey butt.

xo
barney